that is a word that has some teeth to it. that is a word that is so deeply rooted in the human experience that we embody its meaning while excluding it from our vernacular. that is a word by which i have lived too much of my life.
in reflecting upon certain occurrences in my life over the course of the last few days i have come to the stark realization of what i have become. success aside. acumen aside. accolades aside. triumph aside. duty aside. i do not bask in the glow of what is, but lament the lost opportunity of what was. i count cost, reflect upon my blatant failures, and extol the obvious misses wrought in situations.
i no longer stand firm in the promises of our Lord God and the eternal glory that accompanies His love. i no longer view the world as eminent, rife with opportunity to extol His virtue and praise His name. i no longer find myself at the mountaintop, broken and battered, in pure awe of His mercy and grace.
that is not to say that i do not Love my Lord. i have drunk from His fountain, i have tasted the Bread of Life, and i bear witness to His greatness.
yet i lament.
i lament over the the things that do not happen according to how i want His plan to be. i lament over how the struggles of others inconvenience my world view. i lament that others do not see things as blatant and obvious as i purport to.
yet, my lament is not futile. in my lament i understand my limitations. in my lament i understand my depravity. in my lament i understand my need for a true savior.
in my lament i come to embrace Jesus Christ.
“it is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom i am foremost of all.” 1 timothy 1:15 (nasb)